Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
