Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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