My vagina just recognized that song.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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