u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just found puke in my bra..
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
