The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
