wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
