i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
