No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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