i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
