I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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