I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
