So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
home. puking in laundry basket.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
