She's JV to your varsity
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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