hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
