It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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