we're chasing vodka with high fives
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
