just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
