I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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