So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
