He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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