Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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