If i come over, it means nothing
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
