I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
