everyone is single if you try hard enough
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
