VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
