this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
