How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
