Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
