Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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