Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
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