i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
