I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
