she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
