remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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