Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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