My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He passed out mid-signature
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize