talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
