Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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