he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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