@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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