new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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