I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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