I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize