Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
