when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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