so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize