You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
