the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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