I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he fucked my hip out of place.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
