rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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