did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize