she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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