nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
