they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
