I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
