Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
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