Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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