I love black thongs
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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