Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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