I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
