We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
